I've wanted to start blogging for a long while now, as a way to keep tabs on my children's lives. Who knew how hard it would be to come up with a title?! I'm not a perfect writer by any means, but I do want to leave them something that they can go back & read later on in life. I want them to look back and not only remember their memories, but see them from my eyes.
So where to start? Well, my two boys C & A are my world. They are 7 & 5 and are growing, like many parents feel, way too fast. This is a hard time in life, challenging & grey hair inducing, but I wouldn't change it for the world.
We have recently become a family of 3, me being the single parent. I never thought I'd be a single mom, certainly didn't set out to become one. However, life doesn't always go the way you expect, or the way you want. So we just roll with it and are making the best of the situation. We are surviving and that's the most important thing. As I sit and watch my young boys play, I hope for a future for them that is full of love, laughter and happiness. I want to give them the world, to show them what love is, what kindness is and what it's like to be loved unconditionally. You see, they do all that for me, especially the love unconditionally part. Some days I sure don't' feel like I deserve it. not at all, but I've come to realize that all parents feel that way at some time or another.
Our family has challenges, I'm a shift working mom and I've learned that it really does take a village to raise a child. Without the help of my wonderful Mother, I don't know what I do. My mom is a great woman. She takes my kids whenever I need her to, and regularly when I'm working the night shift. She too was a single mother, knows the struggles, the heart ache, the fear of making the decisions all alone. She came out smiling & I think did a darn good job raising my sister & I. I may be biased though!
We are also a food allergy family. C has a severe allergy to peanuts and almonds. With that, we avoid all tree nuts or foods that have the warning "may contain" or "produced in a facility that also contains nuts". It's a crappy hand to be dealt, but I have to admit, we are better off than a lot of others who have food allergies, or other scary medical conditions to deal with. Ours is manageable, and we have been so vigilant that there has been no serious reactions since little C was 1 year old. Food allergies suck. I find that a lot of people just don't get it. They don't understand the severity of it, that with just a minute amount of peanut protein, C could go into anaphylaxis, and worse case, he could die. People don't understand, they say, oh I just won't give him any, but sit near him with their bag of nuts. So we politely leave. I've come across some amazing people though - people who, when I explain our food allergies, kindly put their food away. To them, I give thanks for helping me keep C safe & alive.
With his growing age, C has started to notice that he's "different" and will often come out with "mom, wouldn't it be nice if I could just eat anything and not have to worry about nuts?" or "it would be really nice if I wasn't allergic, wouldn't it?" I feel bad for him, but he certainly doesn't miss out. Not really. We have educated him about cross contamination, signs and symptoms of anaphylaxis and allergic reactions, and how to use his allergect. It's an auto injector of epinephrine, one with an audio prompt that gives step by step instructions. It's amazing. We have trainers at home that everyone can practice using. We put our trust in the teachers and supervisors at his school to know how to keep him safe. So far, so good! C doesn't live in a bubble... like some people think. We travel to Disney, which I feel is the best place on earth if you have food allergies. They are amazing there. He has had some pretty special desserts made for him! We do water parks, camping, skiing... and this year, for the first time ever, he will be going away to sleepover camp. OMG, what?! I will be sending him away for 14 days, to a place where he will get to feel "normal". I am over the moon excited for him, yet terrified at the same time. Not because he will be away from me having the time of his life, not because he could get hurt doing one of the many things kids do, not because I'm not ready to let go... no, I'm terrified because I'm putting all my trust into someone else to make sure he doesn't eat any foods which may contain nuts. THAT'S what I'm afraid of. Yet, the director spoke to me and put me at ease that they take it very seriously there. He said that there are zero nut products on site, the food brought in doesn't state "may contain" and when care packages are sent, they are opened with the camper in the office. Anything that is unsafe is taken out, so it doesn't go past the office. Phew. There is a doctor who lives onsite, as well as an RN & a nursing student. So, I forked over a bit extra, to go to this camp where I feel my son will be safe. I can not wait for C to have this wonderful life experience. To feel "normal".
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