Well tonight I go back to work after a month of mental health "rest". I will be working a night shift. Last night I had some awful dreams. Work related of course. Not about calls I have done, but does one of those dreams where I'm at work and it goes on through the night like I would on my shift. Started off with a call right off the hop at shift change as I was coming through the door and I was not ready. Didn't have my bags with me, etc. I hate those calls. Always feel too rushed. Then it went onto another call with a mother who looked like a vampire and a baby with blood all over it. The baby was fine thankfully, but why my mind conjured up that image? Maybe it had something to do with the abduction last night involving a baby.... who was found unharmed. The mind works in mysterious ways. In my dream I also told two people riding scooters that they needed their lights turned on because we couldn't see them. One of them told me off, the other said thanks for caring.
Needless to say I woke up this morning to get the kids ready for school, and I felt like I hadn't slept a wink. Crawling back into bed after the kids were gone, I laid down for some more rest. Only it seemed like I was startled awake every 10 minutes or so. My heart was racing. My phone rang, that startled me awake, someone texted, that too got my heart going. I gave up after a few hours. I still feel jittery.
I don't feel nervous to go back to work. Excited perhaps? Wondering how I'll be received, what I'll say to coworkers who don't know the story... wondering how the calls will go. It's sort of like Christmas Eve I guess. The anticipation of it all.
Soon I'll be in uniform, back at work and the jitters will be mostly gone. I'm banking on sleeping great tomorrow morning!
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