How My Dad Makes Me Feel.

tupid.

Inadequate.

Unable to think for myself.

Unable to make my own decisions.

This is how I felt tonight when I arrived home from working a 12 hour shift.  My dad has been helping me out with childcare since my regular babysitter was let go.  It's hard to find a child care provider for kids when the parent works shifts.  No one wants to work split shifts or shifts that long.  Thankfully my dad stepped up to the plate to help me out.   

Anyhow, back to today.  My kids and I are starting a little veggie garden.  My mom last year bought us a raised garden bed.  Today my dad and kids put it together.  Last week I told my dad I would be cutting up our pool liner (bought a used above ground pool from my cousin - it's still in my garage...) as it's probably got some holes in it from being dragged all over the yard, etc for the past 2 years.  I said I'd cut the liner to put in the bottom of the garden to stop the weeds.  My neighbour thought it was a great idea.  I guess my dad sees money going out the window because he tried to tell me that he would cut some wood, then lay down papers and then put plastic over it all.  He thinks I should use the pool liner in the pool when I put it up.  Like I'm going to install a pool liner that more than likely has some small holes in it and have a leak, then have to get someone to reinstall a new liner.  I'd rather spend the money now and get a new liner.  He is so goddamn cheap it drives me nuts.  

He also tells me, oh don't use those boards under the deck to line the garden box... uh, no Dad, those are DECK BOARDS.  Really, like I'm that stupid that I would use my left over deck boards.  Give me some credit.  It's like he thinks I'm five years old or something.  And when I question him on it, he gets all mad and defensive.  It's SO irritating.

I am thankful though, for all his help.  I just wish he were more like my mom.  Like my mom knows not to tell me how awful my children have been the moment I walk in the door.  She gives it some time.  My dad?  Nope,  seems as soon as I set foot in the house, he's all over why the kids missed their ipad time or whatnot.  He doesn't understand, no matter how much I tell him, that this stresses me out and if they didn't kill each other, I really don't need to know.  Seems like he can deal with them and then move on.  That would be ideal.

So now I have to sit back and think... pros and cons to having my dad around to help.  There are a lot on both sides...  but, in the end my kids are getting precious time with their grandpa.  And my kids are hopefully helping my dad stay sober since he has this important job to do now.

So to all you dads out there, please give your daughters room to grow, to be their own person.  Know that we can do it on our own, and we have brains in our heads.  Give us the opportunity to make mistakes and to learn from them.  Thank you for always being by our sides...